Monday, 26 November 2018

What I Do

Thank you for your messages of support 
They have really helped me
So my new job
Which I must return to later today
I provide activities for mainly dementia patients 
Though not exclusively 
At a lovely residential home
Then later in the shift I provide care and medication
For the residents living in converted barn units
Actually sometimes I stay in the home and help also
It all depends

It is a home I have come to know well
As I have several learners there
And it is where my youngest now works 
It feels right and proper 
To be back doing some ‘hands on’ work
It is also regular work
Unlike the assessing
Where if you don’t see your learner
You don’t get paid
The problem I faced before going away was
Trying to fit a months worth of visits
Into half a month
Added to beginning my new job
Which I do twice a week
Plus every alternate Saturday 
It made for a truly exhausting period
As I move forward
I will avoid doing both jobs on the same day
Except where there is a learner at my workplace 
And so this week I am not visiting any learners
But I am doing my other job plus a couple of training sessions 
And I must do our VAT
How does that come around so quickly?
So I’m well aware that my emotional tank is now empty
I need to factor in some Henry cuddles
Also some chilled out time by the fire
How wrong that reads!
I would love to sand the stable door and get it painted
Before even considering draping the Cottage in its festive finery
Oh and I will also be contacting my son on a daily basis
He is not going to slip down the plug hole any further on my watch
Of course I have many more wants 
Such as making a Christmas cake
But we’re not actually going to suffer if I don’t get to it
Though that lovely smell would lift my spirits I feel
I could sit here in bed and wallow in self pity
But our days are short
And time is a precious gift I don’t want to waste
I must be strong for my family
And having suffered from the dark beast myself
I feel I have come out stronger and certainly more understanding 
Though I do also realise that happiness is a very fragile commodity 
Physical tiredness is much healthier than mental fatigue 
My sincere apologies if I have not left comments on your lovely blogs of late
But I hope you understand that I am conserving energy for other things
I am though just about caught up with reading your words 
And just following along gives my great pleasure 
Thank you
Blessings J. x

Sunday, 25 November 2018

Dealing With Depression

This holiday has been far from that in reality 
Our son has been suffering with depression for the last twelve months
And had not shared this with us
I hope I have put in place some things that will help him
His former girlfriend is still standing right by him
Hurting and confused 
They are best friends 
And as he recovers I hope they will plan their future together 
We have no more secrets
He has done what everybody does when depressed
Pushed all those who love and care for him away
To wallow in his dark cave
Parenting never stops
Not just for tiny infants reliant on their Mothers’ milk
My boy is 26, has a good job and his own home
Depression doesn’t care who you are or what you have
I am now exhausted 
Returning to work tomorrow will take some doing
But I shall put my best foot forwards 
Being depressed sometimes is normal
If treated appropriately we can become stronger and more understanding 
I hope I have treated this situation appropriately and with understanding 
Blessings J. x

Tuesday, 20 November 2018

Such is Life

Such is life
The last few weeks have not been easy
Taking on an extra job
Just as the clocks went back
Has meant getting home well after dark
And some bad planning resulted in some very long days
But hopefully that will resolve itself
It's true you never stop worrying about your children
And much of my energies have been spent
Worrying for my son
He's split from his long term girlfriend
But apparently it's complicated
As in they split back in May
However continued to visit us as a couple
I'll give him complicated!
This next week we leave the youngsters in charge
And take some time out
Partly with our son
And partly in Yorkshire
We both really need a holiday
So Sunday afternoon at the Cottage
The light is fading fast
Washing is airing over the Aga
A sleeping dog is at my feet
Once more I am alone
It is now Tuesday
We have arrived at our sons’ house
And await his return from work
I hope my batteries will be well and truly recharged 
Before my work beckons once more
May you all be happy and well
Soon I hope to catch up with you all
But for now
Family is more important 

Blessings J. x