Monday 26 November 2018

What I Do

Thank you for your messages of support 
They have really helped me
~
So my new job
Which I must return to later today
I provide activities for mainly dementia patients 
Though not exclusively 
At a lovely residential home
Then later in the shift I provide care and medication
For the residents living in converted barn units
Actually sometimes I stay in the home and help also
It all depends

It is a home I have come to know well
As I have several learners there
And it is where my youngest now works 
It feels right and proper 
To be back doing some ‘hands on’ work
It is also regular work
Unlike the assessing
Where if you don’t see your learner
You don’t get paid
The problem I faced before going away was
Trying to fit a months worth of visits
Into half a month
Added to beginning my new job
Which I do twice a week
Plus every alternate Saturday 
It made for a truly exhausting period
As I move forward
I will avoid doing both jobs on the same day
Except where there is a learner at my workplace 
And so this week I am not visiting any learners
But I am doing my other job plus a couple of training sessions 
And I must do our VAT
How does that come around so quickly?
~
So I’m well aware that my emotional tank is now empty
I need to factor in some Henry cuddles
Also some chilled out time by the fire
How wrong that reads!
I would love to sand the stable door and get it painted
Before even considering draping the Cottage in its festive finery
Oh and I will also be contacting my son on a daily basis
He is not going to slip down the plug hole any further on my watch
~
Of course I have many more wants 
Such as making a Christmas cake
But we’re not actually going to suffer if I don’t get to it
Though that lovely smell would lift my spirits I feel
I could sit here in bed and wallow in self pity
But our days are short
And time is a precious gift I don’t want to waste
I must be strong for my family
And having suffered from the dark beast myself
I feel I have come out stronger and certainly more understanding 
Though I do also realise that happiness is a very fragile commodity 
Physical tiredness is much healthier than mental fatigue 
~
My sincere apologies if I have not left comments on your lovely blogs of late
But I hope you understand that I am conserving energy for other things
I am though just about caught up with reading your words 
And just following along gives my great pleasure 
Thank you
~
Blessings J. x


8 comments:

  1. Jackie....you just have to do what you need to do right now and that is look after yourself to be all the stronger for your son. The door will still be there when you are ready to do it and as you say...you won't suffer if you don't have a Christmas cake.
    Stay strong my friend.
    Love and Hugs-x-

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    1. Thank you Sheila...I’m going to do my hardest to stay positive for the benefit of my son. A cake would be nice though! xx

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  2. You really must prioritise yourself Jackie. It can be easier said than done, but try and make some time to relax and restore. Sending love. X

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    1. I know Jules...today I felt rather shaky so paced myself. Feel better now though...emotion is draining that’s for sure. x

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  3. Time is a precious gift, but so are you. So sorry to hear about your son, but wonderful to know that he has spoken about it and is getting help. My mother suffered badly, I know how draining it can be for supporters. Be good to yourself.

    ps If you haven't got time to make the cake, but really want the smells of Christmas, why not just lob a few spoonsful of cinnamon, and any other Christmas spices you like, into a pan of water and let it simmer for a while. (I do this every winter, smells wonderful.)

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    1. Thank you Elaine...that sounds lovely...I do hope to get to make a cake...I love doing it...maybe not just yet though. x

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  4. Learning to pace yourself is an excellent lesson, you are no good to those who depend on you if you are wrung out. I think you are wise, and I have always told my friends that those of us who have been depressed are tough because we have struggled and come through it. Thinking of you. x

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