Shopping

Apperently as a woman I am supposed to love to shop...

Well I really don't...

Get it from my list to trolley to conveyer belt to trolley to car to house to cupboards...

Yea right I'm supposed to love that?!

Tuesday is my current day of choice to shop...

Today...well especially this morning it was wet...

Shopping and getting wet...such fun...

Having to go to more than one shop to get the things on my list...

Just about made my day I can tell you!

So it was with much gratitude that when youngest needed to use our printer and she brought Bella with her we headed off down to the woods for an amble...

Heidi loves to 'run' around with Bella...though she tires very quickly now...

These two really are the best of friends...

~

Yet another sponge with jam and buttercream cooked and popped into the tin...

Does my hubby know just how lucky he is? Nah...

It's my duty as his wife of course!

This duty is not extending to much house cleaning today though...

The dreary weather is making me very tired...

And how come when I am so tired I cannot sleep well at night...

Crazy I tell you, absolutely crazy...

~

Anyway...it'll soon be time to start tea preparations...

My life knows no limit on exciting...

Talk about exciting...did I mention the other week when our oil tank sprang a leak...

Our recently filled with 2500 litres of oil, oil tank...

I only went to check on the washing before going out...and it was lucky I noticed...a leak...

Also a great split was forming down the front of the tank...

Hubby luckily came home quickly...armed with oil drums and a pump...

He demanded a bar of soap...and it worked on the leak but wouldn't have stopped the tank blowing...

Our neighbour is now 1000 litres of oil better off...though hopefully eldest and family will be getting it when they move...so a new tank is on its way... 

Life is never dull for long around these parts...

~

Blessings, J. x

Home

Lately being home has taken on rather a new meaning...being home can conjure up feelings of comfort...lazy Summer days...reading a book in the shade...listening to the turning of the water wheel...alfresco dining...carefree days...

This year though being home for some has become more of a sentence...I love my home...I am very lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the World...access to private woodland just down the lane...but for those who couldn't or daren't leave home to do regular chores it must have been a nightmare...

I had to venture forth from the very beginning...to work and feed my family...I am rather glad I needed to as I wonder how my mindset would be feeling if I had spent weeks locked in behind the front boundary of our property...

But anyway...time has marched on in its usual way...the nights are now officially drawing in though I hope it is a few weeks before we really notice a difference...

Tonight I am ensconsed on our sofa with a hot water bottle because it is just a little on the chilly side of comfortable...I love hot water bottles...a comfort thing I suppose...memories from childhood...oh the wonderful smell of slightly perished rubber!

Ok so now I am on the 'strange woman' list...actually I have probably always hovered around any such list and quite frankly do not care...what is a life if you cannot have your idiosyncrasies!

~

So what's been happening around here then...well what seems to me like a ton of baking...all of which miracuously disappears with alarming regularity...

The move of the century has not yet taken place...I still await with baited breath...

Heidi is currently holding her own...thanks to some new tablets...she is eating into my budget in a big way at the moment...can I begrudge this money being spent...have you looked into those big brown eyes?!

Summer appears to have come in April and left again in May...the exception being last Thursday...painfully hot and stuffy...and yes I had to work in a mask...Friday saw me moping around with one incredibly thumping headache...no wine required...

The temptation to hop on up to the pub on Saturday has been removed by a well timed work shift...actually I don't think we would have ventured up there on re-opening night...far too many folks coming out of the woodwork and all that... 

Plans are being scribbled into books...numbers being totted up and shock and horror being expressed at just how expensive a largely self build extension might cost should we do it...I pretend that I don't hanker after a dishwasher with two drawers, and a separate larder fridge and freezer...our current fridge is just too darn small...or even a cast iron roll-top bath...ridiculous to want one of those...except I do want one...I really do...then add the comfort height toilet...great for occurrences of the dreaded 'bad back'. Ok so this may take some time...planning, foundations, walls, a roof and openings will come first...and even that cost is making my eyes water...

~

Has it just been me or has anyone else been a little 'off' blogging lately...I haven't even been religiously reading the blogs I usually do...I suppose like in everything else interest and time wax and wane...to force a post would be futile...If I were more organised I would have a plethera of photos of frothy June blooms in the garden...a cute photo of Heidi...and a plateful of fresh fairy cakes on a beautiful plate...only I spent all day at work, then came home and cooked tea and washed dishes...in truth I am knackered and can't wait for bed-time to come...guilt and an annoyance with myself are pushing me to get writing again...

Why won't the words come when I demand them to...it's not as if nothing has happened...the truth is that until the move is signed and sealed I am keeping a lot of my emotions tight to my chest...fear of getting carried away and too joyous could somehow jinx things and I so want it to happen...

And so my dears for now I bid you adieu...

Blessings J. x

 

Back to Square One...or Two?

You really couldn’t make the house saga up...
Last week daughter phoned me as I was getting ready to go shopping...
Is the neighbour in...apparently she hasn’t sent in her completion form...
Could you find out if there is a problem...as survey had been done a good couple of weeks before...
Yes there was a problem...she is no longer buying the property she was going to.
BOTHER...
However she was still selling, turning into a lucrative cash buyer and either moving in with a daughter or renting...
Stress...but manageable...however she had been told that there was a problem at the bottom of the chain...
WHAT...daughter had been told it was all good to go...
Apparently very bottom of chain had moved into first house before lockdown....
They had moved to goodness knows where and were putting the financial thumbscrews on the couple buying daughters house...only we didn’t find out these details until last Friday when they were told that their sale was off.
BIG STRESS...NOT MANAGEABLE...
Would daughter wait a couple of weeks...err no as that house had only received one offer in a year on the market...
Our neighbour agreed to not put hers on the market and keep it for them...
They agreed to give her some time and move in with us for a while to let her get sorted...
Cue Grandma looking after young Henry as mummy, and daddy when he returned from work tidied and cleaned like crazy...couldn’t help about the boxes everywhere...
They had a viewing on Saturday morning...
They had an offer Saturday afternoon...
The couple are renting...
Can I breathe?...
How long will our neighbour take to find a property?
Realistically if nothing by July she may be better off renting...
Oh and to finally turn my hair white they need to exchange by mid July as their mortgage offer expires...
Don’t want to take any chances being on maternity leave and with the uncertain future of the economy...
By rights I should have lost weight...
Err no...a little COMFORT EATING has obviously been taking place and I see another chin developing at a rapid rate.
Oh dear.

Blessings J. x

Still We Wait

It has nearly been nine months since eldest daughter came home from having a pre-natal scan and learned that the cottage next to us was on the market. From then on a flurry of putting their house up for sale and finding a buyer...to the chain falling through late in the day...to next door finding new buyers...to heartbreak at losing the property...to suggesting they install a woodburner in their current property...to next doors buyers pulling out just as hubby had drilled a massive flue sized hole in their wall...to going back on the market...to the original chain apart from the one at the very top coming good again...to getting to the point of exchange and completion...to Corona Virus putting a stop to everything...to the vendors of who next door to us is buying allowing friends to isolate in the should have been empty property so that the home buyer survey could not be completed...to it actually being done (last week) to the government giving moves the all clear...to...well...wait some more. I know not what the latest is...eldest says if there is no news by this afternoon Monday will be a day of chasing and expecting explanations. Me...I'd start chasing today...

~

I'm afraid I have rather lost the ability to believe either our government or it's advisors have an ounce of common sense between them. Nobody wants to say anything that could offend anyone, nobody wants to be responsible, everybody wants to be liked/loved. But life isn't like that. Some of the rules, or guidelines now I fear are doing so much more harm than good. We have had anguish in our family as the effect on young Henry has become apparent. As a little lad who in his life has hardly had a speck of nappy rash unfortunately he is practically covered in eczma...his trunk to his thighs was red raw...it travelled all the way up to his neck. His face and forehead all have been affected. The culprit...stress leading to cortisone leading to eczma. He is currently taking antibiotics, having a cortisone cream and a parafin based multi use cream applied. At first I was shocked...truly shocked...then I broke my heart...now I am angry. Angry with the virus...angry that we didn't let them move in with us...considering they will be partly living with us after the move as different rooms are demolished and a lot of their belongings are already here. When I finally ordered daughter to bring him over I felt like a criminal...then when daughter said 'go see Grandma' he uttered the most heartbreaking response ever...'nooo' whilst shaking his head. In his mind Grandma no longer loved him...how could she...no Grandma roasts...no Grandma hugs...no Grandma playtime...just hello and goodbye via FaceTime. How much damage are we unwittingly doing to our children and grandchildren. I am so angry...if someone wants to land me with a fine for breaking the rules I will not accept it...I will let them take me to any court in the land...on the condition Professor Ferguson also attends... Daughter and Son In Law found him wedged under his bed in the middle of the night sobbing. We are not stupid...if any one of us gets sick we will all go for a test, and are all classed as critical workers so are able to be tested speedily. It's going to take me a lot longer to recover from this than when I think I had the actual virus. Common sense people...that's all it takes.

~

And breathe...just breathe...

But it's hard at the moment. A good walk would help, however Heidi much prefers to hug the Aga if at all possible. She loves to amble around the woods, but can rarely be bothered to walk down the lane to get there. Borrowed time my lovely...

~

I really hope you all are surviving through this horrid time...

It is reminding me of the Foot and Mouth outbreak

We were a farming family and made to isolate then...

Husband wasn't even allowed home with us the night all the cows were culled...

He then suffered burns to his face through the Manatou glass as he tended the pyre...

~

I think I need to get up and get a move on...

Washing...ironing...food prep...that sort of thing...

Maybe some good music would help...

I fear I am a little like Wilfred from Brambley Hedge when it comes to waiting...

I DON'T LIKE IT!

~

Blessings J. x

And So On...

So here we still are...firmly in lockdown...

My heart is growing cold for all the Covid19 talk and restrictions...

Work has to continue...

Shopping can continue...

But family life....sadly not so.

It hasn't helped that our internet has been very poor...

I am currently awaiting an engineer to phone me back...

Without the power of wi fi calling I am not hopeful of him getting through...

I am a much more spiritual person than religious...

However I am silently praying that Boris will begin to relax the lockdown so that we can see small numbers of our family soon...

I am really worried about what effect this is having on young Henry...

He has been found by his parents in the middle of the night wedged under his bed...

He used to sleep soundly throughout the night.

He also has developed eczma...I've not known him to suffer previously.

Oscar I am less concerned about...

But Henry...

~

Our weather has turned...as was inevitable...

I cannot recall such a lovely April...

Or maybe I can...and it was then followed by a non Summer!

We are going to need some Summer this year for sure.

Housework has almost become my salvation.

A routine of sorts...

Washing...and more washing...

But familiarity non the less.

I have managed to obtain some bread flour...

Not my usual but lovely all the same...

Yesterday I almost burnt a sponge...

Good thing hubby likes things 'well done'...

~

My creativity is about set to zero at the moment...

I have no drive or enthusiasm for anything...

I know I must go to work later...and when I get there I know it will be alright...

But I can feel my spark leaving me...

Little by little each day...

Flames need oxygen to continue burning...

And my heart needs family time...

~

Walks with Heidi have been short this week...

She literally wants to cross the road...pee on the grass, then head for home again.

My walks have thus been reduced also.

Rain doesn't necessarily stop me, but we have had a biting wind.

I love the look of a stormy sky at this time of year...

But prefer to gaze at it through a window!

The woodburner has come into its own again these past few days...

I find it a great source of comfort.

~

Don't get me wrong...

I know we're all in this together...

But it is hard...

And I am finding it hard having to be physically close to so many people...

Just none of my family.

 ~

Soon I keep telling myself...

Soon we shall reunite...

I may even wish to retreat for some alone time...

But right now all I want is a sticky fingered...possibly snotty cuddle from a toddler...

How many things will no longer be important I wonder when all this is over...

How many shops will stay shut forever... 

How many people will have become conditioned to live like hermits...

Will I appreciate our local beaches more...

Will I order as many takeaways as before...

Questions questions which only time will tell...

~

Go on...make a wish...

I have just wished that the internet will allow me to upload this post!

Blessings, J. x

Life....But Not As We Knew It

Well where to begin after this lengthy absence. Life has been anything but normal for us or the entire World of late has it. How one tiny organism could ever know it had caused so much disruption, mayhem and misery to so many people. Yes our days come and go...the sun still rises in the morning and sets in the evening, the moon comes out at night...but what lies between is no longer the harmonious life we once knew. If only we had known how free our lives were and how blessed we were before lockdown became more, so much more than a mere threat. If only we had treasured each interaction with our friends and family instead of being guilty of sometimes looking ahead at what needed to be done, what needed to be got ready for the next day...how I wish we had had the ability to just live in the moment a little more. I hope I never forget this feeling and treasure my nearest and dearest that little bit more when all this is over. 

~

For my husband and myself both in jobs that need to continue through this awful time the first week of lockdown passed in a strange blur...with my working in the care sector we made a few changes at home. The washing machine was relocated indoors near the back door, so that as soon as I return from work in go my things...likewise with husbands' things. It's a case of strip and run through the cottage! A couple of people in the home I work for became sick, no tests were done, though we had to treat them as positive cases regardless...One sadly passed and then was tested as negative, we believe that at the moment the home residents and all our home care clients are not carrying the virus but realise that that could and is likely to change. We have strict...and I mean strict protocols for hand washing and getting changed at work, the use of PPE...how we enter and leave the premesis...yes it is a one way system. Despite all these measures, on the Friday evening of the first week of lockdown I managed to fall sound asleep before I had even prepared our pudding, let alone eaten it...when I woke up I had a strange rather dry cough. At first I dismissed it...after all it couldn't be IT...however the next morning I woke with the same dry cough, feeling rather poorly, hot and cold, and with a strange tightness across my chest. Hubby was clearly not impressed at the prospect of having to stay home for up to two weeks because of me...and at first tried telling me that I couldn't have it as I could still smell and taste things. Sometimes hubbys can be rather silly...mine included. By the Saturday evening however he to had started to cough and feel shivery and was saying that his chest also felt tight. It was at this moment he told me that actually he'd had a bit of a dry throat for a couple of days but had put it down to me having changed our tea bag brand...bless his cottons...he had topped up the tea tin in the week. I quickly challanged this theory as I had in fact changed brands of tea around Christmas time. So we were in it together. Coughing...running hot and cold and me mostly struggling with breathing mainly when I tried to talk. Hubby recovered reasonably quickly and was more than ready to go back to work on the Monday following his seven day isolation. I however was having one good day where I didn't need paracetamol followed by one where I felt weak and rubbish, so ended up having two weeks off work. I think it's fair to say that day ten was the last one on which I needed paracetamol. By the Wednesday I allowed myself to go on short dog walks down the deserted lane. At first I didn't have the energy to venture into the woods and when I did I didn't go too far. It has taken a good while to get my strength back, and I still go to bed early but I'm definitely getting there. 

This past Monday I went back to work. At first apprehensive but glad to be back and wanting to do my bit for these poor helpless souls who are no longer allowed vistis from their nearest and dearest.

~

Daughter and son in law and our two grandsons were at the point of their entire chain being able to exchange contracts with everyone except we're not sure about our neighbour as she says they haven't been able to do the buyers survey on the property she is buying, though we are hoping as it's virtually next door to her daughter that she will move in with her for a while if necessary. If they get an opportunity I really don't think the rest of the chain will want to miss it or be hanging about. Oh how I really wish their move could happen soon...just to hear little Henry playing in the garden would lift my spirits no end. It is so hard at the moment. 

~

So with the lovely weather we have slightly heavy hearts...hubby really took a dive at the weekend and ended up suffering a reasonably severe bout of indigestion. He felt tight in his chest and panicked that it was not indigestion...nor a heart attack....but the virus returning. I made him sit up and although he belched quite a bit I made him stay in bed the whole of yesterday as he told me that he had been sweating in the night too! Don't ask. He's had enough indigestion to know what it is but the fear factor and probably the fact that I had returned to work had something to do with it. I'll put it down to him having watched the Indianna Jones movies over the weekend. Far to much imagination and gore to be good for him. Anyway we now have a bottle of heartburn and indigestion relief medication thanks to my rattle around the local Tesco store this morning.

~

Heidi is still with us...she loves being in the woods, though sometimes takes some persuading to get there. She is however becoming even more incontinent. I keep wishing her better but cannot unsee her losing the use of her back legs at times.

~
What a long post this is turning into...long and boring...you really just want pictures don't you?!
Well here are a few from times recent...




 Afternoon tea for one on the patio...

Collecting lightings in the local wood...

 

The ageing mutt...glad she's looking happy...

Beautiful English bluebell...

Where I come most days...

Breathing in the beauty...

The lovely primrose...

Proving to everyone, myself included, that life although different at the moment can still be good.
Stay safe everyone.
Blessings J. x

My Girl

Sadness has entered my heart these past weeks for I have noticed a marked change in Heidi's health. She had a round of antibiotics for a UTI, but appears to be intermittently wetting herself...this is not really the main problem. What alerted me to a possible more serious issue was  a sudden limp from her right back leg...which at first I though could be down to a prickle, however she has started to cave in suddenly if she tries to trundle along with one of her doggie friends. That and if alone she would really rather not go for a walk. Just across the road for a wee and quick sniff around then stop and look at me as if to say 'not today Mum'. One thing that has not diminished is her appetite...so if she's not suffering hopefully she will be here for a while yet, albeit staying closer to the warmth of the Aga. I cannot be upset too much, for she is nearly 10, and in Newfie terms 8 to 10 years is the life expetency. Well I can be upset, but know that there is not much apart from love and care that I can or wish to give her. Life does have to have a certain quality about it to be worth it. I would not put her through any surgery at her stage of life, though she posesses quite a chunk of my heart.

Treats are unlimited though, as are kind words and cuddles. I hope she knows just how much she is loved.

~

Spring has really been rather an elusive beast around these parts...though I have spied all the signs such as primroses.

Daily we are watching the news as of course we all are. I can foresee many difficult times ahead, as a care worker I know I shall be in the front line caring for some very vulnerable people. Today is being spent at home, doing a little housework and a jigsaw...much needed downtime.

~

Blessings J. x